Day 3 – A Plan Emerges

Never let it be said that I am not a traditionalist. Oh, I’m all for the indoor plumbing/litter boxes and, of course, I simply insist upon central heat and air, but at my core, I’m a traditional bunny. Which is why I have decided to plan my escape using a classic technique. I’m going to tunnel my way out of this Victorian hell. I worked at it for several hours, on and off, today. Damn the idiot who put hardwood floors in this place. What were they thinking?!? THUMP! I’ll keep you posted on my progress. Once I’m out of here it’s just a quick call to the Bunderground Railroad and I’m back in Indianapolis! I’ve heard good things about the new airport and as long as I’m not in one of those humiliating pet carriers, who is going to notice one bunny on an entire airplane? Ireland here I come!

Arliss and dinner.

Arliss comments on the lateness of her dinner service.

Yesterday. I promised you more detail on the meals here and in addition to being a traditionalist, I am a bun of my word so here’s the scoop. Basically, the menu is excellent but the service is crap. Everything is prepared and served nicely and I have yet to suffer from the embarrassment of poopy tail but my dinner arrived very late last night. Hurrumph! Clover, who eats almost all the time and, thus, invariably talks with his mouth full, tells me that this is normal. I was quite expressive on the subject last night so we will see if my efforts have made a difference. Seriously, what else could this staff possibly be doing for all those hours they aren’t feeding me?

Oh, and about Mia and Clover – he seems very nice. He spends lots of time all stretched out along the fence with his relaxed happy feet and showing off his perfect, white rex coat. I would say that he has a bit of a big head except that it is just the opposite. According to Mia, he put on weight this past year so his head actually looks a tad small. I plan to tease him about this mercilessly. The staff calls him Clover the Annoying, though I have yet to see even one small reason why. He seems perfectly within his rights to keep them on their toes. I approve entirely. Mia, which, as I understand it, is short for Mi’Amore, isn’t especially good company. I could tell, right away when I arrived, that there was a third bunny living here up until just recently. I am told that her name was Moesha and she was Mia’s best friend for ten years. Mia is having a hard time without her. I told her I knew how she was feeling because I too have lost my best friend. I explained that she should suck it up and get on with the making me feel welcome. You see… I am trying.

Days 1 & 2

Well isn’t this just grand. Here I am, a perfectly spectacular bunny just beginning my active elderbun years and I find myself in this fix. My human staff, who I have been training for the better part of ten years has had the nerve to take a posting in Ireland for a year and has left me with substitute staff. Let me be the first to say, everything about this is wrong.

First of all, I can accept that the trip to Ireland would be trying and something called quarantine would be really horrible (and much too long) but has anyone ever seen a photo of Ireland that didn’t feature loads of green grass?!? Clearly, this is a place I would appreciate but instead I have been relegated to spending a year in a not entirely rehabed Victorian in Rising Sun, Indiana. If you are wondering where that is, get a map of the United States, find the Middle of Nowhere and look just to the right. Now, you’ve got it. They are in Ireland and I am in someplace you can’t even see on your map. You would be pissed too.

In response to this thoughtless slight, I have decided to post a blog documenting my thrilling year just to the right of Nowhere. Perhaps a few initial facts are in order. I am a ten-year old lop rabbit and because my staff are properly educated members of the House Rabbit Society (www.rabbit.org) I live inside where I am safe, properly fed, utilize a litter box and have maximum access to my staff. I am spayed (no cancer for me!) and, in my particular case, have had several other surgeries to deal with some unfortunate abscesses that ultimately caused my surgeon to have to remove my four front teeth. While this would be a debilitating problem for many bunnies, for me it simply means that my personal chef provides my daily salads, mini carrot and hay all cut up into small pieces so that I can easily manage my meals. I’ll have more to say on the subject of meals in this and later blogs since mealtime is one of the highlights of this or any day. Finally, I should state, without prevarication, that I am not one of those meek, sweet, quite bunnies. No sirree! I’m a loud and proud bitch of a bunny who has earned my reputation boxing ankles and communicating my frequent displeasure with a forceful thump accompanied by a meaningful glare. I’m what the bunny appreciative humans refer to as a feisty bun. So there.

To conclude this first blog, I’ll take a quick run at just a few of the many other things that are wrong. Everything, for instance, smells wrong. The dog is entirely wrong. The one they have here is large, has curly fur and is pumpkin colored all over. Clearly, wrong. I’ve already mentioned the new staff and I have to say that my old ones were so much better. They already knew just what I wanted and when to have it ready for me. This new staff does everything at the wrong times. THUMP! The lack of proper housing is truly unacceptable. I have been allotted a small (borrowed) hut which is really quite marginal. Apparently I am awaiting the arrival of something called a Maze Haven (from BusyBunny.com) but that remains to be seen and surely should have been ordered prior to my arrival. THUMP!

The only bits of good news are that the other two bunnies in the room, Mia and Clover, seem polite enough (more on them another day) and the food has been pretty good. I especially enjoyed the Brussels sprout and the kale. In closing, I will say that I am trying to be patient which, I think, is more than anyone could or should expect from me.

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