Arliss Bunny's Blog

I sware, if I hear “cute” and “bunny” in the same sentence just one more time I’m going to vomit and since rabbits literally can’t throw-up it would be quite a feat but, trust me, I’ll get it done. Even thinking about “cute” gives me a bitter taste in the back of my throat, just a little but it’s there. Also, I should be clear, it isn’t so much that “cute” is a problem, it’s that humans are, as has already been long-established, idiots.

There is this one day of the year which some humans have named “Easter.” (We in the rabbit community know it is really International Bunny Day but more on that later.) On Easter, many foolish humans give bunnies as, how humiliating is this, gifts. The poor bunny, usually a baby, is the center of attention for a day or two and then within the circle of banal human attention for another few weeks but just about the time the bunny is a teenager, the humans lose interest entirely. Then one of several things happen. The bunny gets put outside in a hutch or, even worse than that, a sweet, defenseless domestic bunny is turned out into a park or a field. The key here, people, is the word domestic. Domestic rabbits are no more fit to care for themselves in the wild than is a single six-year old human in a forest or jungle. Among other things, rabbits are both strictly prey animals and wild rabbits survive, for their short lives, only in social communities. The average lifespan of a wild rabbit is thought to be about eighteen months. Whereas, a properly cared for domestic bunny in the household where I am presently residing just passed away recently at fourteen years of age. Domestic rabbits released rarely survive more than a few days due to predation and any number of other threats which they are ill prepared to navigate. Oh, there are stories of exceptions but those are few in comparison to the thousands of bunnies who, each year, lose their lives to such carelessness.

Now, let’s discuss the whole concept of the hutch. This contraption was originally invented to house rabbits who were intended for (*gulp*) livestock. Hutches meet virtually none of the basic needs of a rabbit and are responsible for driving many a rabbit insane as in, “Ouch, that rabbit I have been keeping in this inhumane hutch just bit me!” Of course it did, moron, you drove it past the point of breaking. Hutches do not provide nearly enough space or temperature control for rabbits to survive or remain mentally healthy. Did you know that the underground dens of wild rabbits range in temperature from 68° in the Winter to the mid-seventies in the Summer. In other words, never too warm or too cold. Additionally, wild bunnies can huddle together within an enclosed space for added warmth if necessary. Hutches are much too hot in the Summer and far too cold in the Winter. Rabbits either die of heat stroke or freeze to death on a regular basis all across the country. Also, the wire grids of hutch floors cause sores on the paws of bunnies which are not only painful but from which infection can spread. Here’s the most horrible statistic of all. Every year, thousands of bunnies are purchased at Easter and by the next year fewer than ten percent of them are still alive.

So what can you humans do?

Well, first of all, you can pass my blog on to your friends because, among all my other pearls of wisdom, it includes this important link to Make Mine Chocolate™, a campaign to encourage people to purchase chocolate bunnies instead of real ones. Make Mine Chocolate™ is an important cause which saves lives and the yummy chocolate bunnies fund the rescue of abandoned Easter buns. It’s a win-win.

If you are still considering a rabbit, and we can be a good fit in some homes, then check out the information at the Interactive Bun and at the font of rabbit information the House Rabbit Society. Obviously, if you are planning to bring a rabbit into your home, then adopting is always a great route because so much of the homework on the bun has already been done for you as well as, in most cases, the neutering or spaying. Fabulous buns are always to be found at your local chapter of the House Rabbit Society. As a personal note, I just want to add that I was recently made aware of a bun who is, I am told, very much like me, and who is available for adoption from the kind people at the Red Door Shelter in Chicago. Arabella is a precocious girl and, because we are nearly twins, a stunning rabbit. Arabella would love to find a wonderful Forever Home as would all the bunnies currently waiting in shelters.

Easter Origins

Some humans think that a celebration at this time of year, originated with a religious holiday and they are right. It’s just not the one of which they are usually thinking. We bunnies have been celebrating for thousands of years longer than most of the current major human religions.

As we well know, twice a year the day and night are very, very nearly the same length. March 19 to 20 is what is called the Spring or Vernal Equinox. Eggs and rabbits have, for thousands of years, been associated with fertility and with the Spring equinox. In fact, many Arab countries celebrate Mother’s Day at this time. Long before Christianity, when the Goddess of Spring, the not coincidentally named Eostre, was celebrated at the Spring Equinox. Magical or Spirit Hares were associated with her. (Again, a fertility thing.) In those days, young children excitedly awaited the gifts brought by Eostre’s Hares, which were often… surprise…colored eggs. Today, rabbits, which are a different species than are hares, have supplanted the less common and never domesticated hares but the tradition has remained.

I, personally, as a Famous Disapproving Rabbit, have never really gotten into the egg thing because I often have other plans but I have noticed that many other bunnies really get up for it. I overheard Mia, Clover, Madalyn and Samwise in a planning meeting just a couple of days ago. Clover was beaming in the satellite feed, (What… you thought those rabbit ears were just for hearing?) and the four of them were coordinating with other local buns to make sure that Just to the Right of Nowhere is covered. This means that on Easter morning, all the rest of the bunnies around here will be exhausted and I will be able smoothly launch my plan to take over the world. Bwhahaha! Once my plan is underway, it should put the whole “cute” thing to rest once and for all. See…wheels within wheels.