Arliss Bunny's Blog

You may have noticed that I have been fairly quiet these past few days. This is because I recently found out that the place where I am staying, Rising Sun, Indiana (also known as Just to the Right of Nowhere, if you have been following my blog), is directly across the Ohio River from RABBIThash, Kentucky! As in, if you hop up on the window ledge, as I did when I invaded Madalyn and Samwise’s room the other day, you can look right across to it. Very traumatic. What was Amy thinking! Obviously, I have paid for the overnight FedEx of that Winchester I had previously been discussing. Since I firmly believe that preparation is the key to success, I am educating myself on what it means to be so close to Kentucky. [I was going to say, “A well prepared rabbit is a successful rabbit,” but adjusted in light of the overall subject matter.]

First of all, Rabbithash is small – so I think I could take ‘um.

Secondly, the mayor is a dog. Actually, it’s their second dog mayor in a row which tells you two things about the human residents. We all know that rabbits are smarter than dogs, so if the dogs are literally running the executive branch of this town, that doesn’t speak very well of the humans. Additionally, these humans have a strange, possibly psychotic obsession with us animals. I think it is cause for grave concern.

In looking more deeply into the entire matter of Kentucky I find that, while it may have its strong points (anyone out there ever tasted this “blue grass” and, if so, please report back) it also is home to the Creation Museum. In fact, one has to pass this ludicrous place when traveling from here to Rabbithash. A trip which I, of course, will never be making. The Creation Museum was founded by humans who are trying to “prove” that the earth is only 6000 years old. I do not find this either insane or dim, I find it to be purposefully ignorant, a state for which there is no excuse. If humans ever stop to wonder why they seem to be moving backwards while we bunnies continue to evolve, it would be because we aren’t wasting our time trying to prove a fairy tale. Bunnies deal in reality. It’s something one learns quickly as a young bun. Basically, at the very same time our mother is teaching us about the “food chain” – as in “everyone eats bunnies, bunnies don’t eat anyone.” Now, I’ll grant you, how each one of us chooses to live is our own individual choice. Some perfectly nice buns I have known have elected to live their lives from a place of fear. Some poor bunnies have had the necessity of fear forced upon them due to conditions generated by cruel humans. Still others have emerged from such circumstances with a clear understanding that fear may be what keep them alive during an immediate crisis but it is no way to live an entire life.

I, obviously, subscribe to the “No Fear” school but Samwise is a perfect example of a bun who has survived Kentucky-based adversity. Sam was in a small hutch, in Kentucky, with four other bunnies all of whom were very nearly abused and starved to death. One of Sam’s friends, in fact, did not survive. It took the good humans nearly a year to nurse Sam back to health. He is now a lovely, glossy boy who spends his days relaxing and snuggling with Madalyn. Sam is easy-going and was very pleasant to me when we met but he is quite afraid of most people. I find this to be a reasonable compromise. Such a sweet rabbit, nearly murdered in Kentucky, has earned the right to be cautious.

I asked Sam what he thought about being just a hop, skip and a jump from Rabbithash. He assures me that he’s keeping an ear cocked and always sleeps with one eye open. I loaned him my Winchester catalog.